The Meyers. 2018. “Did he pass out?” We are standing in a circle looking down at Cooper. Who is spread eagled on the ground. Eyes closed. “I don’t think so. He’s moving. <pause> Is he moving?” “Cooper, are you ok?” “Mmmmm. <silence> Nt…ut…iss… mas.. ter.” “What did he say?” “Cooper, what?” “Mmmm.” Groan. “Don’t… put……
Holidays 2017. Er, a little late.
The Meyers. 5:10am Riley wriggles under the bed. With his butt sticking out. Every morning. At 5:10. It’s cute were it not for the fact that it sounds like he is falling off the side of a building and only holding on by his fingernails scrabbling for purchase like some dog James Bond movie. It…
The Lion King
Not really sure what to say.
Christmas 2016
Texts from the verbally impaired.
10Pennies Video: Incognito.
A Meyer video. Click here to view. Seriously. Click here.
Mother’s Day
I didn’t display a ton of foresight when I took a Tylenol PM on Mother’s Day Eve. <pause>. I didn’t display any foresight when I took a Tylenol PM on Mother’s Day Eve. “Dad.” Fog “Dad.” Light grey. “Dad.” “Mmmm.” “Mom just went to…
Christmas 2015
2015. (Ben-16; Cooper-14; Griffin-11; Christian-7) “Which way do I turn?” “Go to the high school.” “Yeah, but which way?” We are in the driveway. “What do you mean which way? Ben, you have been going back and forth from school twice a day for two years. Are you serious?” “Well. When you put it that…
Boys Weekend – Part 1
Polly went to her college reunion leaving me with instructions on building a nuclear power plant and/or still having 4 living children at the end of the weekend. By 7am I was late. By 8 I had forgotten to feed the dog, forgotten which field we were supposed to be on, and forgotten to clothe…
Boys Weekend – Part 2
We are back home. But this is like turning a plane. We have 17 minutes before we need to be back in the car. Griffin is staring at his pizza as if it is going to leap up and eat his head. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” “What are you looking at?” I peer over his shoulder….
Boys Weekend – Part 3
We are back at the house. We have been to two soccer games, a baseball game and a Bar Mitzvah. It is 2:30. I have gotten it into my head that I am going to paint and stain the deck. So by my calculations, if I multiply by 6, subtract 2 and assume 20%, I…
Why spelling is still important.
Thankfully somebody else’s child.
The 6 Million Dollar Dog
“Daisy blew out her knee.” None of those words are registering. “What do you mean?” “She tore her ACL.” Silence. I look over at Herschel Walker who starts to wag her tail. Thump. Thump. Thump. Now some people say that you can tell if you are in shape or not by looking at your dog….
Dog mind control
Dog mind control. “Just give me the brownie…”
It’s a dog’s life.
It’s a dog’s life – by Riley Meyer. Golden Retriever, Esq. 6:00am. Where is everybody? Thump, thump, thump. Nothing. Louder. Thump, thump, thump. That kind of hurts actually. Nothing. In fact, Dad is snoring. Sigh. Will go find little Christian (age 6). He’ll get up. My nose presses against Christian’s nose. His eyes open. “Mmmm….
10 pennies and a duck 