2017. The Meyers.

5:10am

Riley wriggles under the bed.  With his butt sticking out.  Every morning.  At 5:10.

It’s cute were it not for the fact that it sounds like he is falling off the side of a building and only holding on by his fingernails scrabbling for purchase like some dog James Bond movie.  It occurs to me that the floor probably looks like a Picasso painting but whatever.  Someday when we move we will probably have to burn down the house anyway.

5:55am

I hear footsteps.  No no no no no no.  I jump out of bed but he is past me.  $#&$^%#@.  I throw off the blankets, jump up and race for the door.  Burst of a giggle and the door shuts in my face.

“Why do you have to use our bathroom!?”

From the other side of the now locked door, Cooper smirks “better luck next time Dad”.

“You’re supposed to use the other bathroom.”

“I like this bathroom.”

“This is MY bathroom.”

“If I am here, and you are here, doesn’t this make it OUR bathroom?”  Argh.

Today is departure day.  To Wisconsin.  In the car.  With 6 of us.  And the dog.  And seemingly 1,650 football cards.

“You can’t bring those.”

“But Dad!”  He drops one of three huge binders and cards go flying everywhere.  You know what?  That will actually keep him busy for like 600 miles.  Hmmmm.  Ok.

We are all in the car.  Well, all except one.  You have three guesses.  First two don’t count.  Hint.  7 years ago he signed his name in the side of the car with a rock because the chalk wasn’t working.  “MY nAmE Is GriFfiN”.   He finally jumps in and with that bright silly smile that only he can deliver, chirps “HELLO EVERYBODY!”.

We are off!  In our hamster car.  With baseball cards fluttering out the window.

We stopped in Syracuse for lunch and a little family football game.

“Touchdown!”

“Mom, that was not a touchdown.  I tagged you like all the way back where we started.”

“Didn’t you just see me doing my touchdown dance?!  Didn’t you just see my touchdown dance?!  That means it’s a touchdown.”  That really seemed to be the final word on that.

In the rearview mirror I spy our little brood all chattering away.  Griffin is delivering an impassioned speech defending Taylor Swift’s new song which none of us seem to like, much to Griffin’s horror.

It’s hard to be a germaphobe with 3 brothers so that effort largely goes unfulfilled, but Griffin’s piano, tap dancing and thespianism continues to give us all endless entertainment.  Griffin was quite put off this morning believing that the eggs in the frying pan were cross contaminating his sausage.

Next over is Cooper who started rowing crew this fall and on his first race won the regional championships for his skill level.  It was pouring.  Torrential.  Cooper got back to the beach falling out of what had become a floating bathtub and said “we didn’t know where the starting line was and we didn’t know where the finish line was, so… we just kept rowing.  And actually, we didn’t know it was the regional championships either.”

We stop for dinner.  I never really have to look very far for this letter.

Oww!!  Cooper suddenly slinks below the table.

“What’s wrong?  What happened?  Are you ok?!”

“My jaw bone just collided with another bone in my head.”

Pause.  “That sounds beyond idiotic.”

“Look.”  Cooper pretend yawns.

“OMG!  Wait.  Do that again.  That looks weird.”

“Honey, look.  His face.  It’s all dented when he opens his mouth.”

We all fixate on Cooper’s face.   “Yeah,” pipes up Christian, “it gets all bulby on that side.”

“No, it happens on the other side too.”

“But he gets a totally different head shape when he stretches his mouth.”

“I think that’s just the way his face works.”

Cooper looks at all of us incredulously.  “Are you guys just telling me that I look weird and my head is bulby?”  Silence.

“Well.  We love you.”

“DAD!!”

Christian took up the trumpet this year.  So that’s fun.

Christian exclaimed in the car that he had an outy belly button and wondered aloud whether that meant it was trying to escape.  Without missing a beat, we all said “yes” in perfect synchronization.

Christian has become an actor, athlete and accomplished Pigpen.  When he plops down on the couch, quite literally, a puff of dirt and dust will waft up around his head and settle across the room like ash from an active volcano.

Ben is now up at Colby College in Maine.  Apparently he is raising bees, climbing mountains with the Outdoor Club, frolicking with his Ultimate Frisbee crew and hopefully going to class.

“Dad, I found this new awesome show on Netflix that you have to watch but it is in German with sub-titles.”

So here’s a question.  How much time do you have to invest in perusing random television shows on Netflix before you figure out that the one you really like is in sub-titled German?  He better be going to class.

I still have a little bit of hair left.  Got a new job with EF running the college tours group so that’s exciting.  It assumes I actually know things, so that may be a challenge.

I look over at Polly who orchestrates, evolves and fiercely protects this crazy group while helping manage the town, the schools and her husband with grace and so much laughter.    The day is never really over until we ignite a “Oh my god, you guys drive me CRAZY!” from her before bed.  I think we are on 34 days straight.

And we drive on!  By the way, with a promise from both Ben and Cooper that they would help drive which did not happen.  At all.  Ben drove for like 45 minutes before he wanted to go back and watch the end of the movie.  And then the ensuing 8 movies.  I am a sucker.

We hope this missive finds you healthy and happy and surrounded by good cheer.   And if not, you can always come hang with us.  We wish you warm hugs and lots of laughter in the New Year!

All love,

Christian, Polly, Ben (19), Cooper (15 or 16 I think), Griffin (13), Christian (9) and Riley (dog, 4).