Holidays 2017. Er, a little late.

The Meyers. 5:10am Riley wriggles under the bed.  With his butt sticking out.  Every morning.  At 5:10. It’s cute were it not for the fact that it sounds like he is falling off the side of a building and only holding on by his fingernails scrabbling for purchase like some dog James Bond movie.  It…

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Christmas 2015

2015.  (Ben-16; Cooper-14; Griffin-11; Christian-7) “Which way do I turn?” “Go to the high school.” “Yeah, but which way?” We are in the driveway. “What do you mean which way?  Ben, you have been going back and forth from school twice a day for two years.  Are you serious?” “Well.  When you put it that…

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Boys Weekend – Part 2

We are back home.  But this is like turning a plane.  We have 17 minutes before we need to be back in the car. Griffin is staring at his pizza as if it is going to leap up and eat his head. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” “What are you looking at?”  I peer over his shoulder….

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Dog mind control

Dog mind control.  “Just give me the brownie…”

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It’s a dog’s life.

It’s a dog’s life – by Riley Meyer.  Golden Retriever, Esq. 6:00am.  Where is everybody?  Thump, thump, thump.  Nothing.  Louder.  Thump, thump, thump.  That kind of hurts actually.  Nothing.  In fact, Dad is snoring.  Sigh.  Will go find little Christian (age 6).  He’ll get up. My nose presses against Christian’s nose.  His eyes open. “Mmmm….

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Umm, that’s not going to work.

One of the Littles is all excited to use his first Amazon gift card to buy a Pokemon box.  But with tax, it comes out to $10.78.  He is creative.

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It begins.

We have developed code words to facilitate movement of “the children,” now known as the hoard.  We have: The Bigs and the Littles (1& 2 and 3& 4). The Bookends and the Middles (1 & 4 and 2 & 3). The Odds and the Evens (1 & 3 and 2 & 4). It is Saturday…

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My Woody

Christian just drew Woody from Toy Story and asked if I liked his Woody. Then, Griffin asked “Christian, can I see your Woody?” Upon seeing it Griffin said “Oh, that’s a good Woody, Christian!”.

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Dinner

The dinner table.  30 seconds. “Don’t forget we have the play on Saturday.” “Who’s Jack Nicholson?” “Christian, please don’t put your tractor in the potatoes.” “Do you think I can save enough for an iPhone?” “What play?” “He’s a golfer.” “Why does Ben get an iPhone?” “Can you get Christian to eat his beans, please?”…

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Heirarchy of Birth Order – The Meyer Theorem

First Child Literally the “FIRST CHILD”.  Of the Earth.  He is brilliant.  He does things.  He points. Second Child The hand-me-down child.  This child will never own a new, well, anything.  There will never be anything new.  Not even sneakers or underwear. Third Child The Tylenol PM child.  Also known as the ratty car seat…

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