Christmas 2015

2015.  (Ben-16; Cooper-14; Griffin-11; Christian-7)

“Which way do I turn?”
“Go to the high school.”

“Yeah, but which way?”

We are in the driveway.

“What do you mean which way?  Ben, you have been going back and forth from school twice a day for two years.  Are you serious?”

“Well.  When you put it that way.  But, , left?”

Sigh.

“While I suppose that theoretically you could go either way, yes, it would be quicker if you went left.”

We are driving.  At 24 mph.  It is occurring to me that I have never really driven at 24 mph.  It is like watching cold syrup drip onto your pancake.  And you inevitably end up feeling like the lead marshal in a parade.

We stop 30 feet from the corner.

“What are you doing?”

“I am stopping.”

“But you can’t see anything.”

“The line is here.”

He is right.  

“Well, you are going to have to inch forward to see.”

“Why is the line here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, it must be here for a reason.”

Bah!

Riley (dog) had a tougher year losing his testicles.  

Ben: “Do you think he will have to wear a cone?”

Cooper: “Wait. They are up by his neck?”

Good god.

“Cooper, did you mow the lawn?”

“Yes.”

“Why doesn’t it look like you mowed the lawn?”

“I did – look, you can see all the wheel marks.”

“But the grass is still long.”  Pause.  “Did you turn on the blades?”

Silence.

All Griffin asked for this year was to see Taylor Swift so we got tickets to go see her concert and proceeded to plan our entire summer around it.

Concert is on Saturday night and everybody comes back from camp on Friday.

We have a welcome back dinner and then come home to print out the tickets.

I am watching the paper emerge.  It is Friday night at 8:13pm.

Wait for it… Wait for it….

“Taylor Swift.  Gillette Stadium.  Friday 7pm”

“Griffin, get in the car.”

“What?”

“Just get in the car.”

We are not driving 24mph.

Polly has basically opened the door as the car is moving and had us tuck and roll into the parking lot.  I call.  “Hey, we got to our seats 12 minutes before she walked on!  This actually worked out pretty well!”

Silence on the other end of the phone.  “Oh, that’s rich.  If you start to play this as some “grand plan” you are going to walk home.”  I look over at Griffin and his friend Max, the latter who we basically tackled out of his kitchen in a snatch and grab.  They are dancing and singing like the little Swiftys they are.

Cooper text:

“Dad, I forgot to put on deodorant so I used the Glade in the bathroom at Andrew’s house.“

“But now my underarms sting.”

I look up at the ceiling of my office.  At least they provide fodder for this blog.  

Christian (7) retains his imp status.  Last month he asked Ben if all teachers at Driver’s Ed were named Ed.  He also thought it was very funny that Griffin was going to a Bottom Dancing class (ballroom).  He plucks out his teeth in the middle of the night and re-arranges 395 Pokemon cards daily.

Griffin played Captain Von Trapp in the Sound of Music this summer which fulfilled his lifetime dream of being able to blow a whistle and tell everybody what to do.  Griffin patiently tries to get a word in edgewise at the dinner table which is like trying to stuff a hamster through a straw or get anything, literally anything, into Cooper’s closet.

Girls remain a mystery to the Meyer family but I definitely notice the barometer dropping with the coming weather front.  

“Do you like anybody?”

“Dad!”

“Who is texting us?”

“Dad!”

“Who was that?”
“Dad!”

Christian and Griffin are really the source of all intra-family intelligence.  Christian has a “secret page” stapled closed in the back of his journal but then he showed it to us.

Section 1: “Girls I think are nice.”

Section 2: “Family iPhone passwords.”  He had them all correct.

Polly and I celebrated our 20th anniversary in Bermuda which was awesome.  Someday I think Polly should run for office but as she points out, she is already Emperor here and questions the “frills” that were supposed to come with the job.

We hope, as always, that this time of year finds you happy, healthy and surrounded by friends and family.  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

One Comment Add yours

  1. Deana says:

    This is brllliant. I see each one of their faces as you tell their stories, although in my mind their faces look the way they did about 7 years ago.

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