Polly is supposed to be on a virtual book club. Apparently hasn’t read the book. So Griffin is following her around the kitchen reciting the spark notes. Somehow this doesn’t strike me as quite the literary magic that was intended – especially since Griffin keeps inserting his own commentary. Like “I don’t understand why she likes him.” And “I don’t think this part makes any sense.” And “he sounds like a boob.”

12 minutes later. Polly dropped the phone into the oven. I am really not sure how that is possible. But this is what I can tell you about dropping your phone into the oven. It melts.

Ben and Cooper have been spending the afternoon looking through old family videos. I am becoming less convinced any of these people are really related to me.