We have developed code words to facilitate movement of “the children,” now known as the hoard.  We have:

The Bigs and the Littles (1& 2 and 3& 4).

The Bookends and the Middles (1 & 4 and 2 & 3).

The Odds and the Evens (1 & 3 and 2 & 4).

It is Saturday morning and these were just my instructions:

The Littles have to be at soccer at 9am but I have to be there at 8:30 b/c don’t forget, you are coaching #4. Wait. What?

The Bigs have to be at soccer at 1pm but they are 14 miles apart. Please find a ride for #1 or #2 – your choice.

The Evens both have birthday parties, one today, one tomorow – need to find a gift.

And, if think about it, the bookends need new shoes.

So what would any logical father do?  Any logical father would go to Costco.

As I walk out of Costco, I find myself looking down at a headset for my phone, two new pairs of pants (for me), a new electric toothbrush, 4 lbs of coffee, a platter of shrimp cocktail (don’t ask), 600 garbage bags, $42 of whey protein and solar powered walkway lights.

I drive home trying to remember what I was actually supposed to buy and find Polly in the driveway.   It occurs to me it is probably not a great time to unpack the car.   So I don’t.

And find the shrimp waiting for me the next morning.