Christmas Letters

The Meyers | 2023

Posted by C. Meyer on

The Meyers | 2023

“It’s definitely going to work.”

We are looking at our 14 year old Suburban which is not going to pass inspection with rusted holes in the sides.  

“See, we just squirt the gap filler in and then paint over it.”

“Dad, that gap filler is like putting the car back together with tooth picks.”

“Watch and learn.”

It wasn’t a totally bad idea.  Gap filler does actually fill gaps.  By expanding.  In uncontrollable directions.

Polly comes out.  “I am not driving around in that.” 

I look at the yellow cloud-looking foam that is bursting from the rust holes.  “It’s fine.”

“It looks like the car ate the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.”

Hmmm.  It did look a little bit like that.  The puffy filler stuff was bulbing out everywhere.

“I think it looks cool.  Aerodynamic. Kind of.”

The other thing they don’t totally tell you…well, actually that’s not true – they absolutely tell you – is that the puffy stuff sticks to everything.  And some of the holes in the car were too big so the stuff just fell to the driveway.  And when I tried to scoop it up with Polly’s spatula, the spatula got stuck to the driveway.  Which might still be there actually.  I didn’t tell Polly who inevitably asked “where’s my spatula?”

But we passed inspection!

______

Younger Christian, to the surprise of us all, made the varsity football team as a sophomore.  What they don’t tell you…actually that’s not true, they absolutely tell you – is that varsity football is not an activity.  It’s more like a second marriage.  To a lot of people.  Who figuratively move in with you and start telling you what to do with yourself.  LIke “wake up at 5:30AM and drive your child to places with other teenage boys who are really super cheerful and talkative at 5:30AM.”  Christian came home from morning lift and said “I’ve named my butt cheeks “number one” and “devin”.  “Oh, and I need a new…” <name literally everything you can think of>.
______

“Is this the James Bond theme song?”

“Why yes it is.  I like movie soundtracks.  It makes me feel like James Bond.”

Ben is currently driving his girlfriend Lily’s white Toyota Corolla at the speed limit and seems to like keeping the seat as low as possible so it kind of looks like a 9 year old is driving.  

“What are you doing this weekend?”

“Well, we are cooking dinner.”

“I don’t know that totally counts as an activity.”

“It is when you use turmeric.”

“Oh.  What are you making?”

“I don’t know.  I guess now something with turmeric.”
_______

One of the things we love but also fear is the knowledge that the boys have their own text chat.  Which occasionally gets leaked:

GRIFFIN: Houston, we have a problem.  

I kind of have no clothes left.

Like at all.

COOPER: Griffin.  Haven’t you done laundry?

GRIFFIN: “Done” is more of a concept.  

Might have to do the old inside outside method.

BEN: Maybe you should get some more clothes.

CHRISTIAN: Griffin laundry is for the weak.  Eye on the prize.  Smelliness is what is truly feared.

COOPER: Christian, that is so wise.

CHRISTIAN: It is, isn’t it.  I think am going to cite it.

GRIFFIN: This is not helpful.  I shall not be the smelly kid.

CHRISTIAN: It’s ok.  We all have to be ashamed of something.  Ooh.  I think I might footnote that too.


Cooper graduated from college!  And found a great apartment in South Boston with a friend from University  of Richmond, a friend from camp, and a friend from Concord.  People keep asking us if we are almost empty nesters. I do feel lucky that we are getting such a soft landing.  Ben, Cooper and Christian will all be local, holding down the fort while Griffin is a sophomore at Kenyon College in Ohio.  The problem is they are all now big enough to steal my clothes.  Jackets.  Shoes.  Boots.  Socks.  Headphones.  Gloves.  Golf clubs.  Cars.  All of them ask a few times a week for pictures of the dogs.  We lost Riley suddenly in June at age 9.  He was an amazing golden retriever.  We went up to Maine to mourn and came back with Finn – a 3 month old puppy – in a laundry basket.  I think we made it 72 hours.  

Puppies are a constant lesson in “looks will get you everywhere”.  And also “puppies will get you out of your homework” as cliche of cliches, indeed 80 pages of The Great Gatsby are strewn all over the floor.  <sigh>.  Finn is looking at me right now.  He is indeed pretty cute. 
________

A friend has convinced me to do the Wim Hof breathing method every morning where you force yourself to hyperventilate and then hold your breath for a long time.  So as I am about to pass out, I find it a perfect time to write this letter!  We are in that zone where you buy every random health gadget from mushroom coffee to jaw exercisers to hydrogen water.  It didn’t take Ben long to point out that all water is hydrogen water, thus the “H2” of the H20 part.  But now I have this $40 water bottle with a blue light.  So… 

Polly is running Living Concord, running social media for the Chamber of Commerce and on what feels like endless committees for the Concord 250th coming up in 2025 (mark your calendars and prep your tri-cornered hat and musket!).  But now she has to take even MORE pictures.

“STOP THE CAR!”

OMG!  As I screech to a stop thinking we are about to hit a deer.

“That’s just such a cute sign.  I have to get 400 pictures of it.”

I think Google is about to send us a dividend check for the government-level storage we are using.

But after all is said and done, we are all great.  We hope you are too!

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